The feeling of turning twenty is frightening yet freeing at the same time. To me, no longer being 19 means having more responsibilities, less spare time and being myself. Successful people (singers, actors, CEO's of multinationals) seem to have an incredible list of accomplishments on their curriculum vitae or they're well-known and famous at the age of twenty. For a university student with little to no accomplishments on her cv this can lead to frustrations sometimes. I know it's not the most important thing to worry about, but it does bother me now and then.
As a fifteen year old girl, I always thought being twenty meant that I would completely know myself, I'd have my life figured out and my social contacts would be booming. Also, I most likely envisioned myself with a cute guy on my arm when instead, I'm watching Ed Sheeran's 'funniest moments' and I can only dream of meeting a guy like him one day. What I'm trying to say is that you shouldn't let yourself guide by an ideal that you or someone else imprinted in your head. It's okay not to have a picture perfect life with Bridget Jones being incredibly and scarily relatable (she too got married in the end with a lovely man).
I've been struggling with anxiety a lot lately and it's not the easiest mindset to live with. Everything that goes wrong or feels wrong is giving me nightmares and heart palpitations. I'm working on my own brand (aka my blog), I'm finishing an ebook and I'm pushing myself to be who I am. Those projects make me feel proud of myself, but they also stress me out. To prevent these anxiety attacks I wrote a list of things I want to accomplish this year and it's not the most mainstream one, but it's part of my 'ME' project where I want to be completely in peace with who I am and where my life will take me. Life is a crazy, scary ride with unexpected events along the way, but a gift wouldn't make you as happy as it does now if you always knew what the content would be, right?
· THE BUCKET LIST ·
· Getting a tattoo
· Publishing my ebook 'Sweet Simple Cooking'
· Go on Erasmus to England to improve my English skills
· Continue building my blog and YouTube channel
· Travel to Edinburgh and visit Tom Riddle's grave
· Finish writing my fantasy novel
· Getting my ear pierced